Adventures in Christian Dating: #eHarmony, #OkCupid & #ChristianMingle

It occurs to me that this is a good post to write because when I tell people that I am participating in online dating websites, they usually have a host of questions. The downside is that what ever old-school stigma an online dating site used to have, it still has it – at least a little bit. At least for me.

So I’m having to ‘get over myself’ a little to write this.

I always thought I would meet my husband serendipitously… you know? Our eyes would lock and grand music would start playing in the background… What? I’m serious.

A few months ago I came to the realization that I indeed did want to get married after all. So what could I do about it? In a temporary city caring for my grandmother, online dating seemed like the only logical choice.

Plus… I am looking for someone very special.

The search filters really come in handy when you are looking for a needle in a haystack, also known as a tall, handsome, Christian man. It’s pretty great time management when you know what you are looking for. But it’s still not the same as meeting in person. And there’s not very many “choices” by the time I set all the filters. I may need to reassess my list.

But I only need one.

I have many more post to write about the experiences I have already had but trust me when I say Christian men are more rare than they should be. As a female, I take responsibility for never before insisting that my dates be men all about God. That was childish, irresponsible and lazy of me.

Somehow I let the most important thing become not important at all.

Because I know that my husband and I will face difficulties, trials and disagreements, I want to know that we are both in agreement to use the same “rulebook” for everything. I’ve tried the way where everyone makes up their own rules of right and wrong. Didn’t work.

And no, I don’t like all the passages in the Bible. I don’t know anyone that does like every passage of the Bible… but God didn’t promise that we would. He just said ‘obey’.

I want a man who wants to live a life pleasing to God.

With that in mind, following are my assessments of online dating websites.

ChristianMingle.com

christianmingle.com

PROS

  • You can get signed up for as little as $30 a month.
  • I felt comfortable talking about my faith on my profile because Christian is in the name.
  • Nice to read profiles of unashamed Christian men.
  • I haven’t received any ‘dirty messages’ on this website. Everyone has been respectful and polite.

CONS

  • There were not many men that I found myself attracted to on this website.
  • Wide range of what people consider to be “of Christian faith”.
  • The user interface is not really that intuitive or pretty to look at. It just does the job.
  • No app. Behind the times.

eHarmony.com

eharmony.com

PROS

  • The user interface is the sleekest I’ve seen. It’s like walking into a nice steak bar.
  • The two hour personality test is a unique way to be matched up with those whom you are compatible.
  • The set-up process is more time-consuming so everyone puts a little more “skin in the game”.
  • There is a mobile app which works fairly well.

CONS

  • Because of the back and forth guided steps that eHarmony provides, the natural conversation process is slower.
  • You don’t get to “browse the selection”. Your only options are people with whom eHarmony has matched you.
  • There is no nice way to say “thanks but no thanks”. If someone reaches out your only option is to block them or ignore them.

Okcupid.com

OkCupid.com

PROS

  • It is free. It’s hard to beat free. There are some upgrades that you can buy but I have not found them necessary.
  • There is a larger group of men from which to choose. If you like to go browsing, this site probably has the most ‘eye candy’.

CONS

  • There are a lot of people looking to ‘hook up’.
  • The majority of the men are not Christian.
  • There is a greater chance of seeing someone you know.
  • More yahoos sending weird messages or trying to talk to you with a blank profile.

So there you have it. Hopefully, I will meet my future husband tomorrow and can get off these websites, but until then… it’s terribly interesting- don’t you think?

 
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